Whoa, it's been a while since I've blogged on here! If anyone actually follows this.. my apologies!
It's not like I've been overly busy or anything haha just haven't felt the urge to write in here
Update: I had the BC Provincials Championships on Sat June 28 2014 where I placed 8th in my class for Bikini Class D
I felt very good with what I brought to the stage, I felt comfortable on stage and I'm happy with how I ended my very first season of competition :)
Now for the off - season ... I'm still quite new to all of this, I only started working with my trainer in Jan of this year and I was immediately considered "On Season" so I never had any cheats etc just straight to the grind
Now that I'm finished competing until further notice I've been successfully graduated into my post show or maintenance side of my diet and weight training plans
How have I been doing? well, there are good days and bad days for sure
During prep there were certainly times where I wanted to cheat and eat the food that wasn't currently on my plan at that time.. I did cheat however it was quite rare and it ranged from controlled to a certified binge
All in all I'd certainly say that my On Season was a success :)
My Off Season (or Improvement season as I've seen people call it, and I like that) has been more of a roller coaster
Getting used to my off season body has been a bit of a trial, do I want to look like I did during my prep/show time year round? No. I honestly, truly do not.. sure I had abs all the time, my thighs didnt touch and I was more vascular (something I love, but it's certainly not for everyone) but looking back at the pictures I had to check in with.. thankfully my coach requires us to check in every week in the final weeks of prep so I have all those pics to prove what I really looked like vs the vision in my head... I didn't really like how that looked... In fact I can even recall when I was having photos done in kelowna: I was standing in front of the mirror and I said to my gf... wow I'm really tiny right now... and then I got even smaller for Provincials
So. although I do know that here is a healthy balance between prep and day to day I'm still currently struggling to get there... I put on the appropriate amount of weight post show (approx 10-ish pounds) I was happy with where I was and how I was progressing.. going as bold to say to myself.. wow this isn't that hard, what was I so nervous about?
Then came the weddings, the stagettes, the bridal showers, the weekends away .. and suddenly I'm another ten pounds heavier... hmm, that was easy. Trouble.
Digesting that I've now put on 20 -- yes 20- post show pounds has been hard, I go through moments where Im all "YOLO" eat whatever i want whenever I want, I love myself and my body at any size and I'm confident... fast forward a few more days where I feel like CRAP have a sugar hangover and can't get rid of that swollen uncomfrotable distended stomach... and suddenly a new voice comes out: how could you do this to yourself, why do you look like this, ew, gross.. the list goes on.. it's very upsetting
The highs and lows of this part of my journey have been hard, I'm doing my best to try to enjoy my workouts gain back some of that confidence and know that the weight will eventually take care of itself
Hopeful to be able to compete again next year :) I'm hoping to do the Kelowna show again in May 2015 and hopefully that will place me high enough to go back to Provincials in New West June 2015 to bring an even better package after 9 months of putting on muscle (hopefully)
Things in the job dept have looked up as well! My hubby and I both have new jobs (I lost my job two days before provincials and went an entire month without full time work -- stressfull!) and we're working towards paying off debt and FINALLY going on a honeymoon-ish trip <3
Hopefully I can get back to writing in here more often, helps to hold me accountable and also let's me get a few things off my chest at the same time .. win win!
Ta ta for now,