Saturday, May 30, 2015

12 wks out!

Well today marks it! 12 wks out from CBBF Natural Nationals, also known as the World Qualifier in Toronto.. you can win your pro card at this show... whoa.

Someone has to win a card in each category.. so why not me? that's my attitude anyways.

My final show last year, third one in 8wks was the BC Provincials.  It's a non-drug tested show. I placed 8th out of 10 for all the tall girls in BC

It was my worst placing of my season ( I got 2nd, 1st then 8th) but it was also my most competitive
I was up against girls who had gone to nationals before and done well! They were seasoned competitors. I'm glad I went and saw the caliber and I've even followed a few of them online and watched their journeys unfold which is something I really like about the competitive life style and the role that social media plays. I hope that over the years my body will show the mature muscle that some of these other wonderful ladies have and I can be as competitive over time

My first two shows were a whirlwind.  Two wks apart from each other in different associations.   Both ametuer and both drug tested. I'm very proud to be a natural athlete.  My pre-workout? Coffee, IF I take anything.  My coach practices a less supplement more natural sources kind of diet and I really like that.  Which is one of the reasons why I signed on with her in the first place.

My first show was just that.. my first I had no idea what to expect and how it was going to go.  There was a small routine that we had to do and the show was very small (there were 10 people in my class) it was intimidating and the perfect way for me to break in and get out the kinks for  my next show
Which was also a drug tested show but I was in a class of 20+ and the day was muuuuch longer.  I got first place in my class and was given the chance for the overall title

After my two essentially back to back shows I was ready for a break.  The super strict diet near the end of season was starting to get to me.. Unlike how this prep has started I had zero cheats with the exception of the day after my shows where I had a day of 'free eating' and then back on plan.  So far I'm still on a carb cycle which I really like and I get cheats still so I'm hoping to see some good progression over these next 12 wks so that I can keep my cheats as long as possible :)

The final five weeks of my prep ( from kelowna to BC's) I spent a lot of time on social media, what does she look like? Omg is she my height? will I be up against her? there's a girl at my gym around my height and shes doing the same show, will we be against each other?

Little did I know... none of these questions mattered.  Does creeping someones ig make me a better competitor? No. Does losing sleep over wondering who I"m going to be up against help me? No.  Less sleep is actually going to slow down my progress

So this time around I'm doing it for me. I'll issue the statement right now:

Although winning my pro card would be the ultimate goal.  MY personal goal on stage is to see visible changes from my last season

IE: I have all my stage shots from all my shows, I want to be able to compare them with the toronto show and be able to see all my progress and really work that camera ;)

Do I want to win? Of course,who doesn't.  But, I don't want to feed into the BS of the other competitors.  We've all earned the right to be there and we've all given it everything we have.  The time on stage is the time to celebrate! 

My goals for this prep: Sleep! and more balance between regular life and prep life. Last year I had so much on my plate that it was over whelming and my mental health suffered for it

Another personal goal is the post season.  I really wanted the chance at a do - over I felt like I wasnt true to myself last time and I fed into things that I felt judged on and let it dictate how I felt about myself .No bueno.

12 weeks, 12 weeks to give it my all and be happy to have the opportunity :)

Wish me luck! I'll be posting and trying to keep things updated throughout
12 wks out shot, feeling strong!

Friday, May 8, 2015

Married Life

OK. So this isn't really a post about fitness.. <disclaimer>

My husband and I have been together for ten years. (10.5 as of yesterday actually haha)
We got married in 2013 so as far as married life goes... we're still pretty new at it

We lived with my (very generous) parents for the year before we got married and the year following while Blake went to school and now has started a job.  So, we decided to try being real grown ups and have moved out on our own .. we did live together before we got married also (without my parents) and they offered to let us move in so that Blake could try his hand at a career and so we could save for our wedding

Back to the reason for this post...

I had a terrible day at work on weds, I work several jobs and am 16 wks out from my next show ( The World Qualifier in Toronto ..aka Drug Tested Nationals )  I just saw the poster for the show on FB today actually :)

With prep right around the corner and the monetary strain and commitment.. having the day I had on weds was certainly not ideal.. Things are changing at my work and nothing I did was good or right .. and I'll just leave it at that.  No bueno.  

Also on weds, I work a dbl shift.  I have three jobs, two at dental offices and one at a local grocery store.  I mentioned  I just moved? I moved out of my hometown to a different city that's about 35 mins away from my current home.  So I have a horrible day at work, then head straight to next work to get gas, pick up some groceries, and start another shift.  I called my hubby on the way home to check in and see how his day was as I head to work because when I get home he will be asleep

Fast fwd to thurs, the day was a bit better.. not the greatest but certainly not as bad as weds.  I stayed late (not paid btw) to get some things finished because I didn't want to have that sitting over my head unfinished .. the things we do?? Regardless I was late getting home.. I stopped at the store to get some cheese because I had tuna melts on my mind (refeed day ;-) ) and I knew we had no cheese

I get back to the car to find my hubby has called.  I call back and he's wondering where I am first of all.. and he wants to hear about my day.  I had forgotten he had plans with a friend that he had told me about and he wanted to make sure I was doing alright before he met up with him

It was a small gesture.. but it meant the world to me

I said to my gf later that night.. sometimes I worry that the fights that we have etc are so stupid that we'll never make it in the long run.. why doesn't he get me? How does he not understand how much this means to me? (the list goes on) and other times he makes me feel like he's the only one who gets me. Knows when I'm happy/hurting/need a boost.. he's so supportive of all the things that I take on and asks for very little in return

to me, that's the definition of marriage.

This is my first (and hopefully, only) marriage.. and I'm still pretty new at it.. but it's certainly been worth the work.