Sunday, December 17, 2017

I don't know how much I weigh

Yes. You read that correctly. I do not know how much I weigh. I stopped weighing myself at the end of September. This was also the time I did my final check-in with my fitness Coach. I quit my fitness team at the end of Sept. Blessed Bodies.

I have weighed myself on and off for the past 4 years or so. Started before we got married, I weighed approx 135 lbs. I had started following a "diet plan" that I had bought from an online coach that I'd seen someone else using for a fitness competition. I had not yet started training for competitions but it was def on my radar at that time.

2013 - the year that I got married, and the year that my "fitness journey" really started. It was the year I trained for my first half marathon with two girlfriends. It was the year that I saw the "I want to look like that guy" documentary and the fall of 2013 I contacted my fitness coach Fatima to talk to her about taking me on as a client.

From Jan 2014 to Sept 2017 I took measurements, photos and recorded my weight every two wks for check ins. When I was competing it was weekly, and when it was show week (aka Peak week) I weighed in daily.

I also started a food diary or journal at that time. Now, prior to competing I 'watched what I ate" but never actually tracked my food. I had to purchase a food scale and the sheer surplus of foods (protein was most noticeable) I had to literally choke it down at first.

When I got married I was sitting around 135 lbs. In my first competition season I got down to 124lbs at my lowest and around 14% BF. After show rebounding I got up to 159lbs at my highest.

There was a very large learning curve in these numbers. I've since dropped some weight since then and sit more comfortably / look best around 140 so that's my current goal.

In terms of weighing myself its simple: I own a scale, obviously. I have been tempted to know what I do weigh. I think about stepping on the scale. But, if the number that's reflecting back at me has the ability to make me upset or feel bad or fat shame or whatever other negative response. Then, I do not step on it. Simple. I do want to have some numbers for the new year so I will be weighing myself soon ish for that purpose. Otherwise, if it could possibly make me upset. I do not do it

Its the holiday season and eating in abundance is def a thing. I have certainly been indulging lately and thats fine. I've had the least amount of food guilt these past few months than I have in the past three years.

I've certainly made leaps and bounds but there's def some work to be done still.. Always a work in progress. I'm much kinder to myself in terms of how I look. I even take days off from the gym (gasp!) and try to focus on spending more time with friends and family. I also am more lenient on what i'm eating and how my body looks.

As I said, I'm a work in progress and I certainly have goals for the new year. both for my body and for personal goals ...that can be in a new post though

Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season and gets to spend some time with loved ones, and with full bellies

Happy Holidays

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Sprint Triathlon - RECAP

Well... I finished my race on June 3 2017.
Today is August 13, 2017

So, it's been a minute since I've been online. At least in blog land. I did, however update another thoughts post from before the triathlon.

To recap .. I was sick right before my race. It really messed with my mental game. I was unable to donate blood before hand too which had been a personal goal of mine. I had been 'meaning to' donate for (literally) years and never did. I finally did last december and then proceeded to get quite sick afterwards with a head cold.

I had what I think could have been a sinus infection. I had zero fluid movement from my face and it was stiff and hard. Not able to taste for almost a week. I had to hold my breath in order to eat food, because my face was so stuffed up

I looked up any and all remedies! I did sinus massages, espsom salts, essential oils, diffusers, hot compress, eating whole cloves of garlic..

I did get a bit better before the race. I also had a few warm up swims in open water and it was quite an eye opener! I'm have anxiety in open water apparently. What a time to find this out!
Swimming in the open water is very different than the comforts of a swimming pool, to say the least. When you attempt to swim with a wet suit (because it was very cold still) and you cannot breath through your nose gets really intense really quickly. Granted I don't actually breath through my nose when I'm swimming at all. It just really messed me up

I went back again the following week. Now 8 days pre triathlon. The second session went a lot better, I was def on the upswing health wise but not perfect. Excpet this time I was soooo gassed. I felt like I could just pass out. Light headed, dizzy, nauseous. It was terrible. I remember telling my friend that had she not been there I would have been on the phone with my husband crying because I was distraught over how poorly that session had gone

Well, the sprint came and went. I was able to swim. I got my best time to date in the open swim. 25 mins. Almost half of what I'd been doing in practice. I kept my head above the water for majority of the swim. I was a lot better by the time we raced, not perfect but certainly in a way better space to race. I also went off course by a fair ways (sigh) but still made a personal best for time

I met my friends boyfriend (Taylor) for the first time the night before. He's completed a half iron man. He knows his Sh!t and he looked over my bike and did some tweaks that i think really helped me out. He was also available throughout the course for support. Which was super cool

Next was the bike. I got out of the water, was a little tired. I could hear my people cheering. Disrobed the wetsuit threw my shorts, shirt, socks, shoes and a hat. Unhooked my bike and made my way to the start of the bike

Bike was 20km. It went really well, minimal hills which i appreciated. There was a car show at the same time and we were riding on the streets so that got interesting at times.
I had such a good time on the bike, I was able to push but not too hard. I felt like all the nights I spent on a spin bike, although not the same as a regular bike, really helped my mindset for the longer ride

Finally was the run. (5km) As I was transitioning from bike to run the only thing I needed to do was re rack the bike throw a hat on quick SPF application and some juice and I was off!
I finished the 5km in 29ish mins. Which is right on par to what I would do if I ran only! Now I had completed 5km within 30 mins after having swam and biked

I was in the 30-35 age group. The woman who won the entire race, was in my age group. She's pretty badass. Didn't even need a wet suit, she just swam in her Team Canada bathing suit.

She crossed the finish line, as I was starting my run. 

She beat my time by 30 mins

My personal goal to finish was 2hrs. 2 1/2 maximum. I finished my first sprint triahlon in 1hr and 45mins.. Needless to say I was pretty jazzed

I had a smile on my face the entire race. The smile stayed all day. My girlfriend who also raced. Got 1st in her age group and won an etched wine glass! Appropriate at the race is called WCOC - Wine capital of Canada. 

Then came the celebrations! My hubby, sister and bff came with me. My friend had her bf and room mate and we all set up shop in our VRBO rental in Osoyoos. There was a pool and a bbq and we feasted!

But first -- wine! 5 of us went out to 5 wineries between Oliver and Osoyoos. It was fun :) There was a wine map. Similar to a lot of placed in the okanogan. There were 30 wineries to chose from in a radius near out rental. We did 5 then headed back to epic bbq. 
We did big bbq meal and then we did group breakfast the next day, and made our way home

I'm so happy that I acheived this personal mile stone. Between the trials of getting so sick beforehand and accomplishing my race in a way better time than I had expected it felt really good.

This was my goal for my bday this year. The race was June 3 and my 31st bday was June 10

My next goal you ask? 
 I'd LOVE to do another spring triathlon but I do not own my own bike. I am currently setting some monies aside so that I can be in a position to buy one hopefully sooner than later. I've recently been considering doing another half marathon in the fall. The same girlfriend that did the sprint with me asked me to join her in a Trail race for her bday

I've never done a trail race before. It's only 30$ (the sprint was 150) and its on sunday so I dont even need to book a day off of work. So much win

Current short term goal --- 10km trail race in october. 

I'm also considering the Run for Water in Abbotsford next may. Hopefully with a few girlfriends 
I mentioned in my very first post about a girl who was part of my fitness lifestyle being born. Her name is Sara and she's part of SJ2 

Long post! But that's the big update for now 
Thanks for reading 

2 wks till Tri time

*Back dated post

so SPRINT triathlon is this weekend.. I have to get through tmrw at work then the extended drive and then the big race day! There's a level of stress that's rising.. I haven't gotten better. I'm also not worse either. I am nervous about the swimming 

I went swimming again with my gf on sunday and it was hard. not as bad as it was the first time but I still had a really hard time. I think part of it has to do with being sick but the other part is in my head. I have some anxiety about open water and not being able to see everything like you can in the pool. I'm going to go swimming in the pool tonight to just settle my nerves and otherwise I've been taking it really easy. I still did weight training on mon and tues even though I was pretty tired on tues. I did a brick workout on tues also where I biked 19 km and then ran for 3 km so that was good because I felt really good afterwards. 

Tonights goal is just to be in the water and practice calming the F*ck down so that I can prepare for race day

repeat repeat repeat

I'm doing this race for ME
I'm in competition with NO ONE
I have loving friends & family watching in SUPPORT

A friend of mine is also racing, she's done one sprint prior and shes super supportive. She's also a stronger all around athlete than me and I do NOT need to be in competition with her! It doesn't matter what time she gets or what time I get we're doing this for fun.. or at least I am haha 

She's so great, and when I mentioned to Blake that shes going to be finished before me I meant it as a statement of facts I wasn't looking to be comforted but he did all the loving husband things and reassured me that I'm still good too.

I am still good too! her abilities don't change that. 

repeat repeat repeat

I'll let ya'll know how it goes
Wish me luck

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

4 weeks out

less than one month till tri time!

I've been swim training once weekly in the pool doing 1000M each time (20 laps)
Each lap is 50 M total (for there and back). Yesterday I implemented "sprint swimming"
25M all out 25M recovery /slower and then the remainder of the min to calm down ... usually about 40 seconds

first 10 laps are for pace and the second 10 laps are the sprint/recover laps

I also got outside sat and sunday in the sunny sunshine to get some road bike action
I had a baseball game on sunday and we WON! Our first win this season, it feels good
**Season just started, it was our third game
This week I'm going to see the massage therapist (yay) and do my first open water / lake swim with my gf.  I'm signed up for the triathlon (sprint) and accommodations are booked! Its coming closer!

I'm weight training four times  a week right now, and on those days I do a conditioning workout.. aka a version of hiit style cardio. On the OFF days I implement my tri training .. swim/bike/run
Sometimes I like to just do a random cardio machine, because its nice to change things up and still get a sweat. Right now my main focus is primarily of the three triathlon disciplines.

Wish me luck! Hoping to post pictures of the race once it's all finished

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Maintenance eating ... BINGE or PREP

Things have been up and down with me.

Had a real BINGE style eating / untracked meals on Saturday night. I knew what I was doing and didn't stop. Weight is only slightly UP from last check in (approx. 1 pound) I've also been stressed at work and have some personal things going on are needing attention

It really throws a person off. I like to be in control, I want to know what's going on and how to deal with it. I like to educate myself and I'm a chronic over thinker. I can be critical, of myself and others and I spend a lot of time in my own head

Being a Gemini I go back and fourth on opinions a lot. I'm not a liar, I just have a genuinely different opinion than I did last week.. I'm sure that can be annoying or look 'two faced' to people.

I'm sensitive and takes things personally before I think about it rationally.

I'm human.

Weird right? haha I do honestly have so many good days, I work hard at loving myself and need to work harder on giving myself a break. I am constantly over worked and over training. I 'thrive' on stress. Less sleep? that's fine. Extra shift? sure. I've already worked 6 days this week but I can stay late. Friends in town? I'll head out and stay late eventhough I'm so gassed, and feel a large amount of guilt if I can't be there

These are my CHOICES. I CHOOSE to do these things, and I don't see results as a part of it.

I know better, I know rest is best. I know in order to see changes I have to LET them happen!

I eat the foods, I lift the weights... why don't I look like _____ fitness model?

Could I if I actually rested? I really don't know, I've never done that

It's hard because people are engrained that working harder means more suffering, I wont get fat by sleeping in that extra 30 mins instead of walking on the step mill. I can write it down and even say it out loud. But, when thurs comes and I've been at work till 11pm and my alarm goes off at 545am I still think I need to get up and out the door so that I can get that sweat in before I head to work
I wake up excited, I have that energy to move and get going. I watch youtube videos while I'm on cardio machines. I really enjoy it. Sometimes I'll even stay longer on a machine because I want to finish / watch a new video

These are the things that I enjoy ... I don't have a family (babies or pets). My spouse and I don't NEED to spend every minute together. I work three jobs play sports and visit with friends and family every week. I have a very fulfilling and blessed life.

I get tired, I think negative thoughts, I can be short tempered from time to time

but I'm TRYING. I'm trying to better my personal thoughts, I'm trying to see the big picture. I'm trying to see things from another persons perspective

I'm making strides but these things take time and effort every single dam day
today was a long day, tomorrow I have the day OFF from all work and I have a weekend away with my hubby
no workouts, no tracking, just going to try and enjoy it

wish me luck!
And thanks for reading :)

Thursday, February 9, 2017

thursday musings

Well, an update and it didn't take two months!

I've been hitting the gym daily even with snow-maggedon 2017 going down in the Fraser Valley. Thankfully where I live now it's a short trip to the gym and it doesn't make me lose my hair to make the short trip to the gym :) So the gains are still being made fam!

I also did the adult thing and bought snowies this year (previously stated) and they're awesome. Really glad that I didn't get them changed back when we had our last blast of warm weather 9degrees in January is warm ok!

So, today we hit the gym for a lower body day and some cardio. Things have been going well for training. I'm still making progress in my lifts, they're challenging but not so hard that I dread to do it .. which is always a good thing! My cardio workouts have gone up in intensity as well.. mostly in length

I've been going to spin class once a week right now, cardio 3-4 times a week on top of that with one day dedicated to swimming! Last week I did 12 laps (600M) and it was great, I was so beat afterwards. Swimming has proven to be the hardest/most gruelling part of the triathlon training. I've gotten the goggles and swim cap and yesterday I purchased ear plugs and a nose plug to try out and see how I like that. So far the nose plug just hurts ( I have a nose ring) but I'll play around with it

All in all I'm excited for the months to come. Hoping to see some weight movement. I've been holding steady at 147 for what seems like forever. I'd like to drop about 5 pounds for a short term goal and closer to ten for long term goal. I feel like I still look pretty good at this point so the rest is just gravy. I'm not doing any extra cardio ... mainly because I'm kind of at a max anyways so there's no real room for more. I'm not restricting anything, I'm not on prep and I'm not willing to give up things in order to drop a few pounds. I'd rather do it in a slower fashion and have it be something more attainable and not really a 'diet'

That being said, will losing weight make me better at my job? Will I be healthier a few lbs lower? Will my spouse love me more at a lower BF? Could I win 250,000 if I lose more ? .. maybe haha

I joined 250K challenge and it's been fun filling out the info for each weeks challenge, I'm going to the gym and watching my foods anyways so hey, if I can win something bonus right?

PS -- the answer to all those other questions is NO. I'm still a good person, that's all outside stuff gotta work on that inside stuff

that's all for now, hope you're all well and good! and safe from the weather!

Xo  -- Jess

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Softball Player, Bikini Competitor.. Triathlete?

2017 Goals!

So far this year the stage has not called my name. It's not going anywhere. I've done 6 shows in three years and seen the ups and downs. Pushed hard, found new highs and lows within myself. Learned a lot about myself and what I like and grew in the process. I did local shows, I made it to Provincial level and also National level with this hobby of mine.

It's very expensive. It's pretty extreme and takes up a lot of your life, and I really enjoyed (most of) it

Now I've started looking into a different type of goal. One that will still push me. One that not just anyone can do. That doesn't require quite the same diet restrictions. Training will still be several times a week if not 5 or 6 times a week, but that's my choice.

I'm trying for my first ever Sprint Triathlon

what is that? It's basically the beginners triathlon.
Triathlon is: swim / bike / run
A sprint isn't some elite level super fast version.. its the half version. The version where you get your feet wet. Its 750m swim / 19km bike / 5km run

I can do all of those things right now! .. but can I do them back/to/back/to/back
Starting in January I told myself I'd start swimming, since it's been the longest since I've swam laps.

Its hard.

I've now gotten proper goggles and a swim cap. Even met another person training for the same sprint at the pool! I've also started going to SPIN classes in an effort to get my cardio in a good place (and shed a few pounds, lets just be honest here)

This week I did 1 hr spin class and followed it with 10 laps in the pool. That's 500M
It's a good way to build up my stamina since the triathlon won't really have breaks
I'm going to start brick workouts once I'm 12 wks from my goal date

The Tri I have in mind : June 3 2017 -- 1 wk before my 31st bday
It's in Oliver BC, WINE COUNTRY

I'll keep you all posted on my progress. So far things have been good, swimming proves to be the biggest challenge thus far but we'll see once I start stacking my training how I do and how fast my recovery is

What are you goals for 2017? They don't have to be fitness related!

Happy Goal Setting!

Monday, January 23, 2017


Wow. It's been a while

Welcome to 2017! Almost done the month of January.

Things that happened from Nov  to now:

I went to Cuba with my husband, sister and her bf

My FIL came from Australia to visit

We got so much snow!
--> I bought snow tires, like a real adult. Then it stopped snowing!


Where: Veradero. We stayed at the Iberostar Laguna Azul. Flew direct from Vancouver (I would recommend) and we stayed a week. It was lovely. Would I recommend it? Sure! The resort was 5 stars the staff and ground were excellent. The food was OK. I thought I wasn't so much of a 'clean eater' anymore but apparently that's just not true! Of the four of us I was the only one who had any issues with the food. Just more processed than I'm used to.. Plus, I have an issue with dairy and still ate things like pizza.. so not really surprising.
The beaches were amazing, we went to Havana for an entire day and ate off the resort.. Would DEF recommend that it was really neat to see. We rented a car and had an English speaking guide. It was less expensive than paying for the tour through the resort and we got to chose what we did and when we did it so that was nice. Plus the tour was in one of the old fashioned cars which is basically a must in Cuba. Flight was direct as I mentioned, we left thurs to thurs and it was only 6 hours which was pretty great.

Visitors from down under:

My father in law and brother in law both came from Sydney on the 19th of Dec. They left on Jan 4th. It was nice to see them. My BIL is 13 now and almost taller than me! (I'm 5'10) he's a good kid and more mature than I was expecting. My husband had a few days off over the holidays and they went to Squamish for tubing and they even spent a night at our place during all the holiday stuffs.
I had minimal time off this year.. usually theres a week or two that offices are closed but with the holiday being on a weekend this year it worked out that... we just kept working! I did several days on my own which was fine, and my pay checks didn't suffer. Always appreciated around the holidays!

Next year we're hoping to be in Australia for Christmas. It's the easiest time to get off work without missing too much and its their summer! Sounds like good times


BC actually got one of those Canadian christmas' this year. Lots of snow and working in three different cities was getting a bit stressful for driving. In fact, we missed seeing my dads parents because of the snow and poor driving conditions. So, I actually bought snow tires. My dad and I talked about it and I complained that I didn't want to spend an extra 600$ on something I may not truly need. He says 600$ or your life? The next week I had the tires put on
Does anyone else do whatever their parent tells them to do? I'm 30 years old and apparently still do!

Well that's all for now I suppose, I've got some new goals on the go (obviously) but I'll make another post about that another time

Happy New Year!