Sunday, December 20, 2015

New Years Resolution 2016

With the year coming to a close I like to start thinking about how I want my next year to shape up

 New Years Eve has always been my favorite holiday ( I'm aware it's not a'real' holiday ) I like to get a new outfit, maybe get my nails or hair done etc I actually do my hair and - gasp wear make up ... it's fun :)

I always remember growing up our parents and their friends would have a party and there was lot's of food and dancing, and when I got older ..drinking I'm not a big drinker, I do enjoy a bevy here and there. Wine, bellini's, margarita, rum & coke but it's only every once in a while. I've always been that way. Especially once I started competing, alcohol isn't exactly a part of my "clean eating" diet.

For anyone who is curious I'm considered a "clean eater" I have a free meal once and week and a high carb day once a week. The rest of the week is a little lower in carbs and higher in fats. I do not starve by any means and I'm not currently working in a deficit. I am not currently ON prep for a show so this is considered my maintenance diet / phase.I like being a clean eater. I have never tried being a macro dieter. It's not that I don't find it interesting, clean eating has proven to work for me at this time so that's what I"m sticking with. The idea of eating whole foods and getting my nutrients/protein etc from a more natural source is certainly something I'm interested in. I do take vitamins still and I do use protein powder but, that's essentially as processed as I get. I do eat bread or wraps and other processed things from time to time but I tend to sway more towards oatmeal/steel cut oats, yams and other starchy carbs.

 Back to new years, I love making resolutions. In 2013 I made the resolution to become a "fit girl" I saw a documentary called 'I want to look like that guy'. It was about a guy who trained like a body builder and drastically changed his body composition. From there I recruited a few gfs who I was going to the gym with and we started 's fat burner diet & exercise program. It was a 12 wk program. I took pictures throughout and was a bit more mindful of my food and I did see changes. We then went and trained for a half marathon which we completed together. It was awesome

 I didn't get to the place where I thought someone would look at me and think " I want to look like her " but hey I'm a work in progress! haha and even if I get to a place that I'd like to look, doesn't mean anyone else will want to look like that too..

 2014 - I had competed in three shows back to back and had gotten down to a very low weight. I did really well in my shows but the rebound afterwards was not good at all. Not mentally or physically. I finished my ON season at 124 lbs and by the end I was close to 155. I hated how I looked, I hated how I felt and I didn't know how to change it. The weight came on so fast that I felt like I was stuck.

My resolution going into 2015 was positive self talk. It's something I still work on daily and have struggles with from time to time, but I'm so much better at talking to myself in a more positive matter.

Be kind to yourself

 Heading into 2016, the year I turn 30... My resolution is reflection. I want to reflect on how good my life is. Count blessings if you will. I also want to focus a lot of my energy on self empowerment / improvement. I recently started working through a self help book called You're a badass, and I'm really enjoying it. I also have purchased the Secret, it has 28 days worth of challenges / chapters to work through and I'm interested to see how much I can learn about myself this year. I also have some books on building a budget and debt repayment. Things I would like to feel like I have a handle on before I were to commit to having a baby or going on mat leave So that's where I'm at. New Year Eve, the ultimate motivation monday Just have to get through 4 more shifts of work and it's time to enjoy family, get some gifts -- give some gifts! and eat some delicious foods :)

 Merry Christmas and have a safe and happy new year :)

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Sisters in Seattle

Went away for another mini vacay with my sister :) this time our adventures took us to Seattle

I was a bit nervous only because I'm obvs not from there and dont know my way around that well.. and we cant use our ever present cell phones to navigate us around (I dont have a roaming plan) so I spent an evening before the trip google mapping places and writing down the important exits turns etc that we needed to know :) 

And it worked out great! Seattle is surpsingly easy to navigate .. if you pay enough attention haha

Went down sat afternoon/evening after I went to the popeyes fall classic with amanda :) traditional big show.. there was a bikini class G 

Competition was pretty stiff for the most part, I noticed it the most with the womens masters division. I feel like previously it was considered the "easier" division because youre not up against these young girls who come in naturally symmetrical etc.. these women BROUGHT it.. and the work theyve put in on top of having kids/careers/etc (one would assume that most of them have anyways given their age) but I would not stand a chance personally against any of those ladies.. they looked amazing

Down to seattle! got to our hotel (thanks groupon!) by around dinner time, went to the mall nearby and then out to dinner. The next day I was up early (as per usual) there was another "gym" in this hotel also which had slightly less than the one in san fran but Id already gotten my workouts in for the week so I was only dong some extra cardio and stretching anyways so it was perfect for that! on sunday we went to pike place, the original starbucks and the zoo :) My sister had never been and since we're both animal fanatics it made sense to hit it up ;) 

We got lucky with the weather.. it was VERY rainy on the way down to kent but when we wandered teh zoo aside from it being a bit chilly it was actually sunny out and clear! and not very busy.. apparently the zoo isnt THE family place to be sunday afternoon.. so we were really lucky

After the zoo we made our way back to downtown seattle and hit up the cheesecake factory :) obvs I saved a free meal for this trip! I had a salad at the cheesecake factory and we took cheesecake home to eat for dessert later... we couldnt decide what to get.. my sister is a sweets fanatic like myself so we got four pieces (ya you read that right)

Pike Place original starbucks, the line was a bit long but the staff were sensational

I wasn't in gym clothes? better document it!

Sister at the gum wall, we were both chewing gum here but my sister couldn't get a good bubble... haha

white chocolate & raspberry
Pecan pralines and caramel
adams peanut butter and chocolate

I also grabbed some 4$ wine from a trader joes near our hotel.. we were going to live it up ;) haha 
I opened the cheesecakes and slowly took a bite from each container.. rotating one by one.. they were each better than the rest! i dont usually pick anything with fruit in it. but since we had so much rich stuff it was a good change up and was really good! I took slow small bites and really tasted the dessert (this is new for me) 
My fave was def the PB one (my sister agreed) then the raspberry then pecan and then snickers.. snickers was good still but it was too much plain cheesecake and not enough extras .. if id had it on its own I woudl have been happy.. but i would have missed out on the amazing PB one.. I attempted to let myself get too full and sick feeling.. but it didnt happen I ate slowly and when I felt like I couldnt fit anymore.. I stopped. We didnt finish a single piece of cheesecake and my sister took the leftovers home to share with her bf 

This was probably my most successful free meal to date. Normally (especialyl with sweets) i either have to have an end to the package, something to do after or I eat until I hate myself (dont we all? haha ) so this was a big step

On monday I went to do some cardio again and the stretching exercises we made our way home slowly after breakfast stopping at some outlets (seattle premium and the burlington outlets) I grabbed some awesome nike shoes, even talkd myself OUT of buying more lulus (that i dont truly need to be honest) and got some christmas gifts... going to call this one a WIN

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Post Show Update

almost 12 wks post show and my weight is 135!!

If you had told me last year that after this ON season I'd be able to maintain my weight.. eat MORE food than ever before and ENJOY my SHORTER workouts and LESS Cardio... I never would have believed you

this time last year I was already 15lbs higher than stage weight ... and climbing
I ate bad food constantly .. by bad I mean things that made me FEEL bad gassy/bloaty/irritable
sugar highs.. then sugar lows...

Not this time around, I've been very mindful... I'm a very mindful person just in general .. but a lot of the self talking was negative in the past.. it's certainly something I still struggle with. but now I try to be more aware and to talk to myself and essentially talk myself out of whatever funk i seem to be jumping into

Do I still have hard days?? Um HECK yeah. Do I skip the gym sometimes? yeah there's time when I need a rest more than I need a workout.. that's a rare one for me but it does happen from time to time ;)
I get bored at home / up too late and want to ravage the fridge at times too.. and sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't .. either way I'm confident I'm on my way to balance

Happy sat peeps!

Monday, November 2, 2015

Love Languages

as the title above reads, Love Languages. There are five love languages

Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Receiving Gifts

Interested in improving more than my bod (this is a "fit girl" diary after all)
I've always been into Self Help or Self Improvement.  Being a Gemini through and through I bounce back and fourth on tonnes of things. I've started countless projects and only finished some of them. I have somewhat of a obsessive nature and sometimes I'm the complete opposite.

I go for weeks and sometimes months on end without taking a break. I work three jobs and try to keep my schedule full. I like to be stimulated. However, once in a while I crash so to speak, and will take a break from everything (except the gym.. obvs)

SO .. I've been reading the love languages book by Gary Chapman, and it's quite a lovely read. It's nice to learn something new about yourself and improving your relationship or marriage along with it.. I mean, why not?

Disclaimer, I do not have an unhappy marriage. I do like to learn new things and if I can make my spouse feel cared for and loved, I'm going to give it a try. Sure I'm happy with how our lives our. We've been together for over a decade (11 yrs on sat!) and we've gone through all the regular strains that long term relationships do.  With the stress of raising a family and owning a home being things we haven't ventured into yet I'd like to know I can keep my partners love tank FULL even when we get busy with littles.

One of the nice things in the book that I found was descriptions of each love language and examples of what they could mean to you. There are also stories from other couples that Mr Chapman has counselled and his personal opinions on things. Finally, there is a quiz at the end so that you can find out what your own love language is.

As I read through the book I tried to guess what my language was. I was pretty confident I knew my husbands but I just wasn't sure on mine.

When I took the quiz I was surprised at first. I was tied for two things:
Words of Affirmation  &
Physical Touch

I thought for sure I would be receiving gifts but it was one of my lowest scores! After thinking about it for a little bit it all made sense.

I hold a pretty high regard for how others think of me, and the best way to know how someone feels about you is for them to tell you. Whether it be through praise or through conflict I DO hold a lot of my worth on how someone acts or reacts around me

I was tied for Physical Touch as well, now this one made sense in the form of hugs and touching to me. In the book it did say that a lot of men think that physical touch is there primary love language strictly for the sex portion of their relationships and how they hold that in high importance... and it is! But that's not what clicked for me

For me I find a lot of my comfort that comes from my husband is in hugging him when I need to let go of stress. In touching him while I sleep to make me feel comfortable. Now this doesnt have to be creepy haha If I come home much later than him (he's up  at 5am to get to work on time) and he's already asleep but I cannot fall asleep? I'll reach my foot over and touch his with mine. Sometimes in his sleep he'll react and move his foot over and that will put me at ease and help me drown out the days thoughts/tomorrow thoughts and help me relax to fall asleep

We're not super lovey/touchy people. No hand holding. Massages etc but the little things mean a lot to me..

I'd encourage you to read this book, I found it very interesting and it can help in all your relationships not just with your spouse

Some food for thought :)

Sunday, September 27, 2015


Hikes! Something that I love to do

I really enjoy getting outdoors. Provided the weather is good to me, or at least I have the appropriate layers to not feel like I'm going to seize up.

There's nothing quite like being outside in the fresh air, a little exertion and some good company!

Today I spent the day hiking with my dad :) It was his bday on the 21st and I've been meaning to get out on another hike with him, so today was the day! We both have sundays and mondays off so this worked well

I had invited others to come but people were busy with their own stuff so it was just us two.  It was awesome

We went to Chilliwack BC to a place called Elk Mountain.  We had done part of this hike before, I'd heard how good the views were and my dad likes to hike as well so we put it on our list! Last time there was six of us and two dogs.  It didn't go as well. We got lost -- the trail was pretty obvious, but that couldn't be it! let's keep going? and the dogs we brought weren't ready for a hike.. they were pretty misbehaved

We also had a few hikers who weren't as into hiking as the rest of us.. so we ended up going in about an hour or so and making it to a lookout.. not much to see, lot's of trees in the way but still nice. We turned around and went home.  I told my dad we would do it again and this time go all the way to the top

We made it to that first lookout in under an hour... pretty good start! We made it to the top in about 45-50 mins after that.. so just shy of two hours.. it was breath taking! We were told there was another peak about 10-15 mins away... we're already here... what's a little further?? So we did that too.. honestly, I can't say enough good things about this hike. Sure, it was steep at parts but the view at the top was worth it. The trail itself wasnt that busy, and everyone we encountered was very friendly

We stopped at the top for a while, talked, sat in the sun, ate some snacks and eventually made our way back down. I really enjoy these mornings / afternoons with my dad. I can certainly see where I get my ability to talk for hours at a time...that's all we do! We can talk forever about essentially nothing.  I find I can open up to my dad about things like when we're going to have kids etc and he offers his own insight instead of telling me what to do like my mother has done from time to time. I also know he won't go home and just blab whatever I've said to my mom which I also appreciate.

My dad and I will also watch baseball (go Jays!) and hockey together, and with the post season for MLB and regular season about to start for those Vancouver Canucks it'll be nice to have something to hang out and talk about once it gets too cold to head outside

Here's a few pics from today, believe me when I say my phone doesnt do it justice

                                   father daughter selfie!

My sister and I also went to Kelowna last weekend and hiked Canyon Falls Park 

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Post Show Update

Just a quick update.  I did get approved to do the Natural Nationals show! It was an experience :) it was really neat to travel for something like this and I had a great first time on the national stage.

I was in Bikini Tall (obviously) there were 19 beautiful tall bellas in my class. Previous year there was only 6! I placed 16th out of 19 so I'm pretty happy to say the least :)

I did not however feel as confident as before on stage. I wasn't entirely sure on my posing. I met with my coach the tuesday before I left and we changed up the way I set up.. it looked/looks so much better! But its hard to break a habit 8  months in the making! Plus these girls brought their A games! So many fabulous bodies!

I felt like I managed a great prep. With so many hurdles right before my show I still came in smaller than last year (yeah you read that right) I was scary skinny last year. I'm roughly 5'10" and weighed in at 124 last year on stage and 15% BF this year I stepped on stage at 137 and 16%BF

Once I saw some stage shots I was really happy with how I looked personally. I wanted to come in will fuller looking muscles and not so depleated and we certainly acheieved that. However, a lot of the other girls came in a lot leaner and just looked all around better than I did.
It is only my second season of competition and to already grace the national stage is a huge feat on its own. I'm hoping that this off season is anything but off and I can make some big changes into my next season which will hopefully be next spring

I also did an ametuer show two wks after the national qualifier. It was called the Knight of Champions out in Surrey BC through the BCABBA association. That show was my smallest to date, with only 75 (approx) athletes vs the 250-300 of all the other shows I've done

I was in bikini tall which was class C this time .. I've never been class C before! haha Class F or Class D but never C

I did not end up placing in the top 5 like I thought I would. Looking at stage shots I felt it was fair that I didnt place in the top 2 even top 3 but I felt my physique could stand up to top 5.. unfortunately the judges did not. I've received my stage shots from the BCABBA show (before my CBBF pics btw) and I'm awaiting feedback from the head judge to see what I can work on so that hopefully I can do better in the future

Currently 10 days post show and only up 3 pounds from my last show (I ended up weighing in at my second show at 133 15%BF) most of my measurements are the same, I did indulge post show (pizza anyone?) and have been back on clean eating since. My diet has been opened back up and I'm reintroducing things like red meat and eggs with the yolk (so good!)

This time around I felt like my prep and workouts have been flawless. Don't get me wrong, there were some mental battles to get through etc but all in all a very successful on season. Hoping for a repeat for off season this go around! Last year this time post show I was already up 10 lbs and very unhappy and lost. Not this time!

some pics I took of my post show abs. They're still there! -for now ;) 

First cheat is being introduced this weekend! My sister and I are headed to Kelowna for wine tasting and waffles! Going to try out the Jammery for the first time, since breakfast is aaallways my thing :) 

Saturday, August 8, 2015

2 wks out!

Well here we are... saturday night and I'm home by 9pm

I've been getting pretty tired lately.  My diet has not changed at all.. which I'm actually kind of surprised at to be honest.  This time last year my diet was much more restricted.  I was weight training 6 days a week and doing cardio every day .. minimum a half hour and make a full hour

This year.. I'm only weight training 4 x a week and cardio is 5 days... I'm allowed to do extra and I have been. My lower half is slow to progress this time around. It was last time as well to be honest but it almost got me not approved to do this show

The way my team works is 95% online feedback check ins etc online, and you have to go through the 12 wks of ON Season prep to prove that you're ready to be on stage.  Not only are you proving it with dedication to workouts and meals but also to checking in on time and being committed to your coach

However, just because you do it all right on paper does not mean you automatically will get approved.  Last year felt like a whirl wind I was hyper-focused and nothing but prep really entered my mind.  My mental state suffered and so did my relationships.  My job also suffered! I lost my job the day before my last competition... stressful much?

This time around I have been much more balanced, I've been happier and I think I've been more open minded to what I can really accomplish whilst On Season.  I was thiiis close to not getting show approval.  Strictly because things just weren't moving in a quick pace. I know my coach wanted to approve me but I want to go out there and shine not look like someone who doesn't belong, and she knows that

I did bust my hump for about three wks and managed to get things moving enough to prove that I could make it to a good place come show time.. so Yay me!

Currently doing as much extra cardio as I can handle to try to slim these hips down a bit more come stage time.  Plus, with a flight I always hear people talking of bloating or water retention and don't need that! So lots of fluids lots of movement and I also grabbed some compression shorts and socks to help with it (hopefully)

Super excited, trying not to get nervous.  There's really no point.  It slows my progress down my body stops responding .. and well stress isn't fun?

That's the whole reason I'm doing this isnt it? I've already won I get to compete in a National show! I'm flying from home and taking time off work / life to compete in a body building competition

How cool is that? I think it's pretty awesome personally. I have trophies and stories and photos to show my kids later on in life (when I have them anyways) and get to tell them about the cool shit that I did before I was all PTA meetings and soccer games

It may only be one chapter in my life.  This show isn't going to make or break how the rest of my life goes so I might as well bust my ass for the time that I get to do it and enjoy the shit out of while I do it!

That's all for now, will hopefully post again before the show and updates there after :)

Monday, July 20, 2015


Hello Hello,

Just under 5 wks out from the World Qualifier and 6 wks from the Knight of Champions :)

This update is actually about something else that I'm really excited about. 

Volunteering.  I have a few things coming over the next two wks that I'm volunteering for

1) the   Vancouver Pro/Am show

2)   Sunfest

This will be Vancouver's first IFBB Pro show, which is terribly exciting. The promoter Michelle Krack (who is local to abbotsford btw!) and I'm excited to see some of the local pros do their thing
I've never volunteered for this association before (the BCABBA) although I have competed.  The days are long and tedious so I'm hoping to be able to give back and take part in the excitement back stage. The only down side is my day starts with 7am check in... in Vancouver so that will be a bit rough, and then again the night @ 4pm for the night show. I'm not volunteering on sunday because I have tickets to the bikini finals (inspiration anyone?) and also exhibits .. which I'll have free range of (if there's time) on Sat

This sat is also my hubbys bday.. and I will see him for none of it! He said that he would come to finals with my as my date on sunday, then we'll cruise the exhibit and I'll take him out for something to eat afterwards.. so really hes doing something for ME on HIS bday .. I found a good one ;)

The following weekend (BC Day weekend) I'll be heading to the island for Sun Fest! It's a country music festival that's been held in Duncan BC for the past 10 or so years.  For the past 5 years its been strictly country music (no complaints here) My life long friend introduced me to the festival as her (now) in-laws host the festival.  I went to the first one about five years ago and did not volunteer but instead free-loaded and got to watch all the acts and even meet some of the singers! Which was way-cool.  They've done nothing but grow these past few years.  More responsible than Merritt seemed to be (Campground C anyone?) well run by good people and a lot of locals. They've gotten some BIG names over the years: Crystal Shewanda, Ridley Bent, Aaron Pritchett, Dierks Bentley, Lee Brice, Joe Nichols, Tim McGraw and this year Keith Urban!!

I was SO excited once they said Keith Urban had been signed to do this show, I've missed him every time he's come to Vancouver and I've heard nothing but greatness about how his shows go.

I missed the past 4 years due to softball conflict.  The first couple of years SunFest was held on a different weekend a little later in the  month, but when it got moved to the first weekend it was the same weekend as softball provincials.  So I've been missing out.

Not this year! This year I even get to give back, instead of free loading ;) I'll even earn my keep! I'm going to pack my meals for the weekend bring loooots of water and enjoy a weekend with friends and gain a new experience on the volunteer side of things

I'm arguably too excited about taking time off from a paying job in order to work for free for long periods of time.  But I'm really excited to give back to my community and gain some experience

Saturday, May 30, 2015

12 wks out!

Well today marks it! 12 wks out from CBBF Natural Nationals, also known as the World Qualifier in Toronto.. you can win your pro card at this show... whoa.

Someone has to win a card in each category.. so why not me? that's my attitude anyways.

My final show last year, third one in 8wks was the BC Provincials.  It's a non-drug tested show. I placed 8th out of 10 for all the tall girls in BC

It was my worst placing of my season ( I got 2nd, 1st then 8th) but it was also my most competitive
I was up against girls who had gone to nationals before and done well! They were seasoned competitors. I'm glad I went and saw the caliber and I've even followed a few of them online and watched their journeys unfold which is something I really like about the competitive life style and the role that social media plays. I hope that over the years my body will show the mature muscle that some of these other wonderful ladies have and I can be as competitive over time

My first two shows were a whirlwind.  Two wks apart from each other in different associations.   Both ametuer and both drug tested. I'm very proud to be a natural athlete.  My pre-workout? Coffee, IF I take anything.  My coach practices a less supplement more natural sources kind of diet and I really like that.  Which is one of the reasons why I signed on with her in the first place.

My first show was just that.. my first I had no idea what to expect and how it was going to go.  There was a small routine that we had to do and the show was very small (there were 10 people in my class) it was intimidating and the perfect way for me to break in and get out the kinks for  my next show
Which was also a drug tested show but I was in a class of 20+ and the day was muuuuch longer.  I got first place in my class and was given the chance for the overall title

After my two essentially back to back shows I was ready for a break.  The super strict diet near the end of season was starting to get to me.. Unlike how this prep has started I had zero cheats with the exception of the day after my shows where I had a day of 'free eating' and then back on plan.  So far I'm still on a carb cycle which I really like and I get cheats still so I'm hoping to see some good progression over these next 12 wks so that I can keep my cheats as long as possible :)

The final five weeks of my prep ( from kelowna to BC's) I spent a lot of time on social media, what does she look like? Omg is she my height? will I be up against her? there's a girl at my gym around my height and shes doing the same show, will we be against each other?

Little did I know... none of these questions mattered.  Does creeping someones ig make me a better competitor? No. Does losing sleep over wondering who I"m going to be up against help me? No.  Less sleep is actually going to slow down my progress

So this time around I'm doing it for me. I'll issue the statement right now:

Although winning my pro card would be the ultimate goal.  MY personal goal on stage is to see visible changes from my last season

IE: I have all my stage shots from all my shows, I want to be able to compare them with the toronto show and be able to see all my progress and really work that camera ;)

Do I want to win? Of course,who doesn't.  But, I don't want to feed into the BS of the other competitors.  We've all earned the right to be there and we've all given it everything we have.  The time on stage is the time to celebrate! 

My goals for this prep: Sleep! and more balance between regular life and prep life. Last year I had so much on my plate that it was over whelming and my mental health suffered for it

Another personal goal is the post season.  I really wanted the chance at a do - over I felt like I wasnt true to myself last time and I fed into things that I felt judged on and let it dictate how I felt about myself .No bueno.

12 weeks, 12 weeks to give it my all and be happy to have the opportunity :)

Wish me luck! I'll be posting and trying to keep things updated throughout
12 wks out shot, feeling strong!

Friday, May 8, 2015

Married Life

OK. So this isn't really a post about fitness.. <disclaimer>

My husband and I have been together for ten years. (10.5 as of yesterday actually haha)
We got married in 2013 so as far as married life goes... we're still pretty new at it

We lived with my (very generous) parents for the year before we got married and the year following while Blake went to school and now has started a job.  So, we decided to try being real grown ups and have moved out on our own .. we did live together before we got married also (without my parents) and they offered to let us move in so that Blake could try his hand at a career and so we could save for our wedding

Back to the reason for this post...

I had a terrible day at work on weds, I work several jobs and am 16 wks out from my next show ( The World Qualifier in Toronto ..aka Drug Tested Nationals )  I just saw the poster for the show on FB today actually :)

With prep right around the corner and the monetary strain and commitment.. having the day I had on weds was certainly not ideal.. Things are changing at my work and nothing I did was good or right .. and I'll just leave it at that.  No bueno.  

Also on weds, I work a dbl shift.  I have three jobs, two at dental offices and one at a local grocery store.  I mentioned  I just moved? I moved out of my hometown to a different city that's about 35 mins away from my current home.  So I have a horrible day at work, then head straight to next work to get gas, pick up some groceries, and start another shift.  I called my hubby on the way home to check in and see how his day was as I head to work because when I get home he will be asleep

Fast fwd to thurs, the day was a bit better.. not the greatest but certainly not as bad as weds.  I stayed late (not paid btw) to get some things finished because I didn't want to have that sitting over my head unfinished .. the things we do?? Regardless I was late getting home.. I stopped at the store to get some cheese because I had tuna melts on my mind (refeed day ;-) ) and I knew we had no cheese

I get back to the car to find my hubby has called.  I call back and he's wondering where I am first of all.. and he wants to hear about my day.  I had forgotten he had plans with a friend that he had told me about and he wanted to make sure I was doing alright before he met up with him

It was a small gesture.. but it meant the world to me

I said to my gf later that night.. sometimes I worry that the fights that we have etc are so stupid that we'll never make it in the long run.. why doesn't he get me? How does he not understand how much this means to me? (the list goes on) and other times he makes me feel like he's the only one who gets me. Knows when I'm happy/hurting/need a boost.. he's so supportive of all the things that I take on and asks for very little in return

to me, that's the definition of marriage.

This is my first (and hopefully, only) marriage.. and I'm still pretty new at it.. but it's certainly been worth the work.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Progress - Critical Thinking

Well the team photo shoot has come and gone... I haven't seen the final shots of the team photos yet but I have received my personal shots :)

This wasn't my first photoshoot and it wont be my last.  I've booked with Dave Laus in Toronto when I'm there for CBBF (World Qualifier) Natural Nationals .. a mouthful I know, but so worth it ;)

Anyhoo.. did the shoot, was so so so happy with my hair and make up.. Jag in Vancouver can do some crazy things, I showed her a PIN from my phone she took one look at it and said yep, I can do that.. and poof there it was.  Eliza (of Trendi Creative) and also a team Blessed Bodies member did the hair.. I brought my extensions and wanted to go with a chunky braid, there was def a braid theme going on for the day

I dont actually have blonde in my hair but my extensions made the details in the braid stand out a lot better
The shoot (for me) didn't last too long.. just under an hour, then it was to and fro from Delta (my gf who introduced me to the team had a sleep over at the end of the day -- we're destined to be future sister wives)and back out for the team shoot and then a bday party :) 

Not long after (like maybe 5 days?) I received my proofs, couldn't believe how fast they came! So I took a boo at them.  Bad news.  I hated them.  

Wtf? did I just read that right? you hated them? that can't be true

these are apparently the only shots I have saved to my computer. With my lovely girlfriend :) These shots are unedited, and I didn't like them at first

I was all full of negative self talk. Why did I think I looked good that morning? Why am I making that face? Omg am I actually that fat?

I had to close the window. I let myself talk badly to myself for that evening.  I let myself wallow

It took a few days, but I reopened the photos and took another look through the folder. U know, my obliques are kinda popping in these photos.. and hey, my eyes are open! (thats a big one for me) I had fun during this shoot, I've SUCCEEDED at making a change in my physique in a way that is completely attainable and maintainable .. so that's a huge win

Signing up for the photo shoot prep I was nervous, will I have to suffer? the answer? NO.
I did less cardio than before, I carb cycled, I had cheat meals and I saw results 

Am I at where I want to be for my off - season & regular life.. maybe not, but I'm def on my way and by taking the time to recognize my toxic thoughts and behaviors stop myself in my tracks and re-visiting things when I was ready to see the good in what I have accomplished I did myself a huge favor and I grew as a person

It's time to celebrate the little things, I learned something about myself in this.  It's important to listen to how you talk to yourself because that's what manifests and decides a lot of things. 

Positive self talk is a thing I'm really working in and making huge strides in 

I hope this is helpful to anyone who has trouble with self talk. I try to remember that if it was my spouse or my friend who talked that way about themselves, what would I say to them... start saying it to yourself! 

and it's the truth!

Friday, March 20, 2015

Food For Thought...

I was cruising around Facebook today on my day off (not a normal day off for me) and I came across this article/blog that someone had shared

It's a mans blog where he's highlighting another blogger (a woman) who writes about Women who lift and are told not to get too manly

I found it interesting and thought it was share worthy :)

Certainly an interesting topic from the point of view from someone who was very skinny/frail/thin etc and was never told that she should worry about getting too skinny and the astigmatism that follow women's bodies

too fat

too skinny

too this ... to that..

I have also been told that I should worry about gaining too much muscle.. its not sexy (legit a guy told me that at the gym) my own mother warned me about looking like a man

I've been lifting and dieting like an athlete for almost 2 years and I look anything but mannish

I have a nice lifted booty and although I dont have a large chest .. I never did in the first place (haha) I love the fit life and (most) of the challenges that come with it. I was one of those dreaded cardio bunnies when I first started.. thankfully I found a different way cause those 5lbs weights were going to get me no where.. but was a good place to start!

I was also someone who was told I was too skinny.. but it wasn't until I was doing competitions... I weighed a whopping 100 pounds in high school at one point.. I'm 5'10 by the way... that's not OK

Not one person told me I was too skinny.. I was losing my hair and things were not good in my life .. this wasn't the result of an eating disorder thankfully but once I got my life back together I've been a much healthier weight

I also identified with the parts the writer posts about people commenting on the food you chose to eat or not to eat.  Post competition season I got comments if
I ate salad : I thought you didnt have to do that anymore? 
I'm sorry, what? you mean eat?? I happen to like salads...
If  I ate cake/cookies/cupcakes/anything 'bad' for you:  Is that part of your body building diet?

It's exceptionally hard to swallow thinking that people are judging you for everything that you do, especially those that you care about .. most people have no negative intentions with their comments but they certainly stuck with me and I tend to dwell about things like that... work in progress ;)

Regardless, if you get the chance, I hope you enjoy the read.. I certainly did


Saturday, February 28, 2015

Vancouver Sun Run

So today I signed up for the Sun Run

Running is what got me into trying to push myself in fitness.  I had first started going to the gym at the advise of my (now) husband about 8 years ago.. .eventually I got bold enough to go by myself even! Which I'm sure many women can attest to.. is not an easy feat when you feel out of place with all the 'gym rats' in the gyms

I used to wear sweat pants multiple shirts/hoodies at the gym.. (ps I've never been over weight or anything just always comfortable in more clothes vs less) and now I'm all about that cute gym outfit..

Don't get me wrong, I'm anything but girly .. when I get done up for being on stage that is the MOST amount of prep I've ever gone through for ANY event haha

So, a few girlfriends and I start going to the gym together (always easier to be held accountable with a buddy) and one of the ladies says that we should do a ten km race! (the Sun Run) I'm not a runner, so when she suggests that we sign up for the Sun Run camp training.. I say yes!

We get together three days a week (one day with a group) and train :) it was neat to see the progress and fun to get out with friends in the fresh air.. one of my favorite things

We did that Sun Run, the one next year and after that we decided that hey... why not train for a half marathon?? (22km) so we did that too! Joined another running group, ran three times a week: hill runs, long runs, sprint training, cross training .. it was awesome! Tiring, exciting, fatiguing, raining! but in the end I was so so so glad that I had gone through with it.. race day came and we did great, wasn't tired, no pain no injuries and  i was happy with my time (2.5 hrs)

So fast fwd, after that I wanted my next big goal... which is where joining Team Blesed Bodies and competing in Fitness Competitions has come into play and where my current grind lives

I still play Womens softball (that is starting soon!) and I'm going to spare in slow pitch again this year
I'm currently on the grind to do a fitness photoshoot with my team (excitement) that will take place march 28 and so far thats also going well ... I even get cheat  meals still!!

I've also signed up for the Sun Run again :) Now this time around the girl who started it all is expecting, and its kinda uncomfortable to run that far this far along in her pregnancy so she will not be joining this time.  But some of the girls from my dental office sound interested (in walking mind you) and my other runner gf has agreed to sign up with me :)

So after the photoshoot I'm going to be incorporating more runs into my weekly workouts :) Hoping to get under an hour for my 10km this time!

It's fun to set in between goals while you have a focus for something so big

Going to start this beautiful sunny Saturday with a jog outside :)

Grind on!


Sunday, February 22, 2015

5 Non - Fitness Facts about Me

So I was tagged in the post going around on instagram (follow me: @xjust_jess) 

so I thought it would be nice to share the info here on my blog... eventhough the tag is diary of a fit girl... there are other things to know about me as well :) 

Five non-fitness things about me as tagged by@_amandalei ..took a while to think of this ha i dont consider my ig/fb etc a "fitness account" but u realise just how much of your life revolves around your habits when someone asks u what else u do haha so here goes:

1 - I've been with my hubby @bcrome84 for ten years, we got married in 2013 (where the pic above is from )
2 - my sister and i are really close, she's the reason i met my hubby in the first place & has always been super supportive of our relationship & all my choices in life ♡
3 - I work a lot, i have three jobs. I'm a certified dental assistant and work in a specialist office & GP office ..i also work at superstore and have for 13 yrs
4 - I'm left handed ..although u wouldn't know it .. i play all sports right handed and assist right handed as well
5 - eventhough ive got solid resting bitch face I'm actually not that bad... i like to think friendly at times even haha i do spend an awful lot of time at the gym and rarely speak to anybody but i do make an effort to be pleasant in any situation ..sometimes u just need to talk to me first ;-)

Back on the fitness side of things... I've signed up to do a photo shoot with my fitness team at the end of March (28) with a photographer in Vancouver .. very exciting!

I had the option of going on a smaller prep or photoshoot prep and I went back and forth on what to do.. Since I want to compete at nationals this august and I need to prove to my coach that I can maintain a healthy off-season in order to be approved for ON season and I felt that if I did the prep it would almost be cheating my way there...

Well, I went for it.. I'm about 2 wks into my photo prep diet and things are going well :) It's certainly not the most restricted diet I've ever been on.. although it's def different than my day to day but I still get cheats right now :) :) happy girl

My coach as also changed up my cardio! I was doing 5 sessions of 30 mins mostly steady state cardio and, when I was up for it, extra. I managed to find time to do extra most weeks

NOW I'm doing 10 mins of HIIT cardio.. hoo mama do I ever get sweaty in that short period of time! I'm still allowed to do extra cardio if I want and have so far made time for it.. but I'm happy that it's my choice since things are starting to get a bit busy in my life so it's not always an option

Another good thing is my ball season is still going to happen :) I thought for sure that since a few of the girls are preggo's this year that there would be no chance for a team.. well the rest of the girls have stepped up and still want to play :) but, the level of commitment is limited (always has been) and we'll be going back down to house ball.. which I think will be a good fit for a team that's a bit short handed this year

This also means that I'll be a bit busier for the first bit of my prep.. but everything finishes by the first weekend of August so I'll be able to focus all my energy on prep for the final 4 wks :)

Upward and Onward... just a quick update... for anyone who actually reads this ;)

My thanks to you :)

-xo Jess

Sunday, January 18, 2015

CBBF Natural Nationals

woot woot.  Natural Nationals in Toronto! Aug 22, 2015 (my wedding anniversary weekend)

As you know I competed in bikini competitions last year. Three to be exact

One was with NPAA (an association out of alberta that is drug tested) I got 2nd place in novice bikini tall
Second was with BCABBA in Kelowna where I placed first in novice bikini tall, also a drug tested show
Third was BCABBA Provincial Championships where I placed 8th and it was not drug tested

At the time I competed in Kelowna only the top 3 went onto the next round and everyone got a good luck next time.  Top 5 takes home some kind of hardware and first place gets the chance to 'win it all' and take the over-all win against everyone else who also took first in their categories (different by height)
I won first at that show, qualified to go to Provincials that year or this year and had the chance to win the overall ... I did not win the overall (ha)

This year they've changed the rules and now top 5 get the chance to show their stuff at the next level, each for two years. You can go the first year (like I did) and then you have to re-qualify .. or you can take a year off and compete the following year.  If you don't compete in that two year window however, you lose your qualification and have to start over

I placed 8th out of 10 for the entire province! When you go to Provincials it's a smaller show and they cut down the classes so originally i was in Class F (5'9 - 6+ ft) and I was condensed into the smaller class D

I was very proud with how I did.. even if it was technically the worst I had done to date in competitions haha I had been ON season for about 6 months ( I started Jan 1  and my final comp was June 28) I feel like my muscles looked a bit fuller in my second show but my legs were looking leaner in my third.  I was suuuper tired and just kind of over prep

When I was at provincials, a girl who I had competed with in Kelowna informed me that I had also qualified for a World Qualifier competition in Montreal.  Not interested.  I was so done with my crazy diet and hectic workout schedule.  I was suuuper tired and I had just lost my job (literally two days before) I had commitments of weddings, stagettes and other things that my friends were counting on me for.. and now, no job to pay for anything

Plus competing is expensive! Training is expensive.. you're supposed to enjoy it, not suffer for it .. so I said thanks for the info but I have no intention of travelling that far

Fast fwd a year.

I contacted the head of the association and asked if I still technically qualified for CBBF Nationals since I had opted to compete in provincials last year.  The answer is Yes.  

So here I am, I've had kind of a rocky off season.. Went too far too fast and wasnt true to myself.  I let others opinions and comments take over how I felt I should act and feel, and in the end I didnt listen to myself.  My body was telling me to slow down, take it easy, stop eating so much crap! I indulged in negative thinking, hating myself and how I felt, fat face, fat body (inflammation) bad skin (over processed foods) and a lot of weight gain.  I didn't listen

So, now here I am in the new year, I am about 15 pounds over what I should be for an athlete in the maintenance phase.  For those of you who are curious I'm sitting at about 155 lbs My goal is to weight 140

A general rule of thumb is that maintenance should be approx 10 pounds above stage weight. My final weigh in before I stepped on stage was 124.  Now, I'm approx 5'10 and to be honest I didnt like how I looked at that time as a day to day look. Technically my goal should be 135, which is possible. I weighed that much when I got married .,. and I did that all on my own

I do things a little differently now, I eat according to my goals --> muscle growth!
In order for me to be considered for On season again I need to lose this weight and prove to my coach that I can maintain it before she will agree to even consider me going back On Season this year

So here's where my grind starts! We're also doing a team photo shoot in March and I want to 'trim the excess' by that time.. maintain for the following month and a bit and then apply to be on season.

If I get accepted I get to try for the chance for my Pro Card which would lead to invites all over the world to compete at professional level events.  The Arnold Classic, the Olympia etc things that are shown live on tv for god sake, I would be a professional athlete.  That's pretty cool.

I've got some serious changes to make to my body but I've got 7months to do so. I grind it out to the best of my ability while I'm in the gym I eat according to me goals and I just need to keep up my water in take, enjoy my life and rest days and those around me

As long as I find a life balance I'm sure the weight will take care of itself

Time to grind on! Wish me luck :)


Here's a look at one of Canada's most recent IFBB Pros Anette Delarosa a BC girl who won at the CBBF Nationals July 2014 in Alberta (the non drug tested version) to get an idea what makes the cut as a top physique