Progress - Critical Thinking

Well the team photo shoot has come and gone... I haven't seen the final shots of the team photos yet but I have received my personal shots :)

This wasn't my first photoshoot and it wont be my last.  I've booked with Dave Laus in Toronto when I'm there for CBBF (World Qualifier) Natural Nationals .. a mouthful I know, but so worth it ;)

Anyhoo.. did the shoot, was so so so happy with my hair and make up.. Jag in Vancouver can do some crazy things, I showed her a PIN from my phone she took one look at it and said yep, I can do that.. and poof there it was.  Eliza (of Trendi Creative) and also a team Blessed Bodies member did the hair.. I brought my extensions and wanted to go with a chunky braid, there was def a braid theme going on for the day

I dont actually have blonde in my hair but my extensions made the details in the braid stand out a lot better
The shoot (for me) didn't last too long.. just under an hour, then it was to and fro from Delta (my gf who introduced me to the team had a sleep over at the end of the day -- we're destined to be future sister wives)and back out for the team shoot and then a bday party :) 

Not long after (like maybe 5 days?) I received my proofs, couldn't believe how fast they came! So I took a boo at them.  Bad news.  I hated them.  

Wtf? did I just read that right? you hated them? that can't be true

these are apparently the only shots I have saved to my computer. With my lovely girlfriend :) These shots are unedited, and I didn't like them at first

I was all full of negative self talk. Why did I think I looked good that morning? Why am I making that face? Omg am I actually that fat?

I had to close the window. I let myself talk badly to myself for that evening.  I let myself wallow

It took a few days, but I reopened the photos and took another look through the folder. U know, my obliques are kinda popping in these photos.. and hey, my eyes are open! (thats a big one for me) I had fun during this shoot, I've SUCCEEDED at making a change in my physique in a way that is completely attainable and maintainable .. so that's a huge win

Signing up for the photo shoot prep I was nervous, will I have to suffer? the answer? NO.
I did less cardio than before, I carb cycled, I had cheat meals and I saw results 

Am I at where I want to be for my off - season & regular life.. maybe not, but I'm def on my way and by taking the time to recognize my toxic thoughts and behaviors stop myself in my tracks and re-visiting things when I was ready to see the good in what I have accomplished I did myself a huge favor and I grew as a person

It's time to celebrate the little things, I learned something about myself in this.  It's important to listen to how you talk to yourself because that's what manifests and decides a lot of things. 

Positive self talk is a thing I'm really working in and making huge strides in 

I hope this is helpful to anyone who has trouble with self talk. I try to remember that if it was my spouse or my friend who talked that way about themselves, what would I say to them... start saying it to yourself! 

and it's the truth!


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