I don't know how much I weigh

Yes. You read that correctly. I do not know how much I weigh. I stopped weighing myself at the end of September. This was also the time I did my final check-in with my fitness Coach. I quit my fitness team at the end of Sept. Blessed Bodies.

I have weighed myself on and off for the past 4 years or so. Started before we got married, I weighed approx 135 lbs. I had started following a "diet plan" that I had bought from an online coach that I'd seen someone else using for a fitness competition. I had not yet started training for competitions but it was def on my radar at that time.

2013 - the year that I got married, and the year that my "fitness journey" really started. It was the year I trained for my first half marathon with two girlfriends. It was the year that I saw the "I want to look like that guy" documentary and the fall of 2013 I contacted my fitness coach Fatima to talk to her about taking me on as a client.

From Jan 2014 to Sept 2017 I took measurements, photos and recorded my weight every two wks for check ins. When I was competing it was weekly, and when it was show week (aka Peak week) I weighed in daily.

I also started a food diary or journal at that time. Now, prior to competing I 'watched what I ate" but never actually tracked my food. I had to purchase a food scale and the sheer surplus of foods (protein was most noticeable) I had to literally choke it down at first.

When I got married I was sitting around 135 lbs. In my first competition season I got down to 124lbs at my lowest and around 14% BF. After show rebounding I got up to 159lbs at my highest.

There was a very large learning curve in these numbers. I've since dropped some weight since then and sit more comfortably / look best around 140 so that's my current goal.

In terms of weighing myself its simple: I own a scale, obviously. I have been tempted to know what I do weigh. I think about stepping on the scale. But, if the number that's reflecting back at me has the ability to make me upset or feel bad or fat shame or whatever other negative response. Then, I do not step on it. Simple. I do want to have some numbers for the new year so I will be weighing myself soon ish for that purpose. Otherwise, if it could possibly make me upset. I do not do it

Its the holiday season and eating in abundance is def a thing. I have certainly been indulging lately and thats fine. I've had the least amount of food guilt these past few months than I have in the past three years.

I've certainly made leaps and bounds but there's def some work to be done still.. Always a work in progress. I'm much kinder to myself in terms of how I look. I even take days off from the gym (gasp!) and try to focus on spending more time with friends and family. I also am more lenient on what i'm eating and how my body looks.

As I said, I'm a work in progress and I certainly have goals for the new year. both for my body and for personal goals ...that can be in a new post though

Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season and gets to spend some time with loved ones, and with full bellies

Happy Holidays

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