Monday, November 2, 2015

Love Languages

as the title above reads, Love Languages. There are five love languages

Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Receiving Gifts

Interested in improving more than my bod (this is a "fit girl" diary after all)
I've always been into Self Help or Self Improvement.  Being a Gemini through and through I bounce back and fourth on tonnes of things. I've started countless projects and only finished some of them. I have somewhat of a obsessive nature and sometimes I'm the complete opposite.

I go for weeks and sometimes months on end without taking a break. I work three jobs and try to keep my schedule full. I like to be stimulated. However, once in a while I crash so to speak, and will take a break from everything (except the gym.. obvs)

SO .. I've been reading the love languages book by Gary Chapman, and it's quite a lovely read. It's nice to learn something new about yourself and improving your relationship or marriage along with it.. I mean, why not?

Disclaimer, I do not have an unhappy marriage. I do like to learn new things and if I can make my spouse feel cared for and loved, I'm going to give it a try. Sure I'm happy with how our lives our. We've been together for over a decade (11 yrs on sat!) and we've gone through all the regular strains that long term relationships do.  With the stress of raising a family and owning a home being things we haven't ventured into yet I'd like to know I can keep my partners love tank FULL even when we get busy with littles.


One of the nice things in the book that I found was descriptions of each love language and examples of what they could mean to you. There are also stories from other couples that Mr Chapman has counselled and his personal opinions on things. Finally, there is a quiz at the end so that you can find out what your own love language is.

As I read through the book I tried to guess what my language was. I was pretty confident I knew my husbands but I just wasn't sure on mine.

When I took the quiz I was surprised at first. I was tied for two things:
Words of Affirmation  &
Physical Touch

I thought for sure I would be receiving gifts but it was one of my lowest scores! After thinking about it for a little bit it all made sense.

I hold a pretty high regard for how others think of me, and the best way to know how someone feels about you is for them to tell you. Whether it be through praise or through conflict I DO hold a lot of my worth on how someone acts or reacts around me

I was tied for Physical Touch as well, now this one made sense in the form of hugs and touching to me. In the book it did say that a lot of men think that physical touch is there primary love language strictly for the sex portion of their relationships and how they hold that in high importance... and it is! But that's not what clicked for me

For me I find a lot of my comfort that comes from my husband is in hugging him when I need to let go of stress. In touching him while I sleep to make me feel comfortable. Now this doesnt have to be creepy haha If I come home much later than him (he's up  at 5am to get to work on time) and he's already asleep but I cannot fall asleep? I'll reach my foot over and touch his with mine. Sometimes in his sleep he'll react and move his foot over and that will put me at ease and help me drown out the days thoughts/tomorrow thoughts and help me relax to fall asleep

We're not super lovey/touchy people. No hand holding. Massages etc but the little things mean a lot to me..

I'd encourage you to read this book, I found it very interesting and it can help in all your relationships not just with your spouse

Some food for thought :)


http://www.5lovelanguages.com/


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