S.A.H.M. / S.A.H.P

S.A.H.M - stay at home mom, or more appropriately - S.A.H.P. - stay at home Parent.
It's 2020 people, dads stay home too

Anyhoo, I have enjoyed my current situation staying at home with my son. I'm currenty on maternity leave and will be returning to work. I've been asked if I've just loved being at home with my son. Yes? I think so. I have moments where I do not want to return to work because then I'm leaving him with strangers. I have nothing against daycare personally, I think it's pretty great actually. I don't feel qualified to set my son up with the appropriate skills to make him a good student for school when it comes to that time. We don't do an awful lot in our day to day (compaired to some at least)

In our house I try to get him outside daily. Wind / rain / snow / sunshine outside time is important for my mental health and he could certainly benefit as well. So, we go outside.
We've also recently started swimming lessons. I loved swimming, and still enjoy it now. Starting my son off early with swimming lessons was important to me and then we're exposed to other children and they mamas too.

I do have several girlfriends who had their babies in the same year as me. Most of them it's their second babies though so they're a little busier  than our house haha. We also live in a different town than the others so if we want to see anyone it involves a drive as almost no one comes out to visit us.

I digress. Yes, I would say I love staying home this first year overall. I am going to return to work full time. (5 days a week) which is actually less than I was working prior to my son being born.
Although it is more than I'm currently out of the house it is less than before. I'm trying to be optimistic haha

I have a lot of respect for those mama and papas who can stay home with their kids. I don't identify as being a good teacher which is why I never went that route professionally. I want to have my son be able to hang out with and play with other kids. I want him to be able to listen and respect other adults and be exposed to school style learning.

Is it going to be hard to go back to work? Yes.  I'm fully expecting to cry like a baby when I'm first headed back to work. It's going to be another large transition (the first being bringing the baby home haha) in our house and it'll take some learning

My current plan is to quit working Saturdays and stop working at superstore (weds evenings) so that my evenings are free. I'm still planning on playing softball this season that takes one night a week and the odd weekend until July.

My New Year Goal this year -- ils to run a sub 2 hr half marathon! My previous personal best was 2:05:30 so its a doable goal. Albeit still a pretty decently difficult one

My ideal in the long term? I'm still team 2 babies. However, I dont' want to try to get pregnant again already. So, return to work full time. Work for another full year THEN start trying again and gets used to the toddler haha. Make that decision more in that head space than this one. My son is a great baby he is mobile now but he is not walking or talking so it will be a bit different

Back to the plan. Second baby shows up somewhere around first babies 3rd bday -- ideal world. I work full time and qualify for max benefit during my leave again. Mat leave is 18m next time (providing we can afford it) Hubby takes another month off work when new babe arrives (again $$ dependant) Keep our son in part time daycare so that he has his own stuff going on, keeps him entertained and also keeps his routine. Plus, it would give me some alone time with the new babe since they have to share us from the word go.
THEN when I return to work, our oldest will be headed to preschool or kindergarten and I can hopefully afford to just work part time. 2 or 3 days would be super.

Partially so that I can stay at home with my babies while they're little and "need me" and I can be the one to take them to school and their hobbies (forced at this point I'm sure ha) and also cutting the cost of childcare.

Between wait lists and costs of care in our neck of the woods I dont know that it would even be worthwhile to go to work full time as care for two children is more than I currenly make in a pay chq. So I would be going to work strictly to pay for care which seems a little silly.

I do like to work, I did a shorter day of work to help out this past Saturday and I found that:
1) I still know what I'm doing - phew!
2) the boss was happy to work with me - :)
3) I still enjoyed the work
4) It felt good to get out of the house and do something solo

Really happy in finding that. I'm one of those stereo types that doesn't think that I can leave the house alone and leave the baby with someone. It's getting a LOT better than before when he was smaller. He eats solids now and takes a bottle well so it's not like I couldn't go away for an extended period (this time was close to 7 hrs)

Seeing my son do well when I'm not around is very promising as well. I'm torn between trying to get him used to having me not around prior to the start of daycare and enjoying that time we have together


The silly things we stress about? He is happy, he is healthy. This is a win. I'm confident he will thrive in daycare. I'll just try to enjoy my leave while I can.

Being in Canada I'm very lucky to get 12M let alone have the option of 18M

That's all for now. Will report back how softball season, run training and the baby are doing :)

Thanks for listening.
Jess

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